Arian Khansari

So this is sadly my last blog post in the last class on the second to last day of the workshop. I’ve had a really great time here for the past two weeks, especially going through all of the experiences with a great group of people. I think the thing that really stood out to me from the first week was the difference between reality and expectation. I expected the workshop to be full of nonsocial people, because to be honest, it is really unheard of for a group of teenagers to go to a writing camp for 2 weeks. But I was very pleasantly surprised to find that that was not the case at all, and that all of the people here were very fun and interesting people. Even though we “worked” from 8am – 11pm every day, it honestly did not feel like work at any point during the workshop. Even my shorter school days, which last only from 7am – 3 pm, usually feel MUCH longer and tiring. For that, I want to thank not only my fellow 2010 graduates, but also the counselors and instructors that spent their time with us as well. That is truly what makes this workshop special – the fact that all of these credentialed, experienced and knowledgeable people take the time (and often expenses) out of their own lives to give to the students, and despite all of the work that they have to give us, they really work hard to try to make the experience an enjoyable one for us.

I’m not really sure what I’ll do when I go back, mostly because I think it will feel like every day is a week. After being busy nonstop for 2 straight weeks, going back to a relaxing summer vacation is going to be very odd. Not to mention I won’t have someone to make ridiculous and inappropriate jokes at night like Kevin, or someone to threaten me with crapping in my mouth like CJ. Or Jeremy’s inspirational singing.

All in all, I had a great experience here for the past 2 weeks and I thank everyone for contributing to that experience in some way, shape or form. In the word’s of Mary, stay safe…and clean.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama stepped down tonight, leaving former Vice President Joe Biden to fill his position, effective immediately. Biden appointed former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice President.

President Obama had no comment about his resignation other than, “I think it is in the best interest of the country.”

Biden also had no comment about President Obama’s resignation. “We’re prepared to move forward. America’s a great country, we have survived many challenges,” Biden said.

New President Joe Biden and Vice President Sarah Palin announce their new roles in office. (CSPA Reporter/Tori Robertson)

On his appointment of Palin to the Vice Presidency, Biden said, “We’re talking about a highly intelligent woman with plenty of experience.”

Palin, a Republican, said of her decision to joint the Democratic administration, “Let’s just be friends.”

The announcement came in the wake of several allegations as to misconduct in the administration. Biden did not give any information regarding Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s resignation or who would fill her position.

Biden repeatedly claimed to have no knowledge regarding rumors that Osama bin Laden had been contacted and would turn himself in after Obama’s resignation.

WASHINGTON, D.C. –President Barack Obama has resigned and is leaving the reins to Vice President Joe Biden, effective immediately. Biden has chosen former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice President.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Rumors of President Barack Obama’s infidelity are false plants by the administration, said Vice President Joe Biden.

Biden announced today that “Rumors that have been hinted at by people on Capitol Hill involve infidelity….We deliberately leaked that information in order to see who we could trust, and we found out.”

Biden mentioned Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi as among those who spread the rumors, adding that, “We know we can’t trust the Republicans anyway, so we’re not going to bother with them.” He then called for both Clinton and Pelosi to resign from their positions.

Biden did not comment on who would fill those roles, but said that he and the president had discussed the matter.

Biden had no comment on prior announcements regarding communications with Osama bin Laden, and appeared not to recognize the name.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Osama bin Laden has agreed to turn himself in to the United States if President Barack Obama resigns from office, says Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

General Jon Randall said that, “if he [bin Laden] gives himself up to us, that warrants life in prison rather than the death penalty.”

The government will not disclose where bin Laden is currently located, but Randall assures that they are in contact with him and that he is telling the truth. Democrats believe that bin Laden is lying, Randall said.

Link of the video: Jon Randall

Clinton said in a press conference today that she believes the president should step down from his position in the interest of national security.

“There are some personal issues that are threatening his presidency…I will stand by the president in whatever decision he makes,” Clinton said.

Jon Randall holds a press conference concerning the matters of Osama biin Laden and President Obama. (CSPA Reporter/ Jenny Choi)

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid allegations that President Barack Obama is not a natural-born American citizen and has captured Osama bin Laden but will not prosecute him, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi called for President Obama’s resignation in a press conference today.

Pelosi said that she was considering both “the current leadership in the White House and the future of our government” when she called for President Obama to step down from his position.

House Minority Leader John Boehner announced today that he received classified information on his iPhone that bin Laden has been captured but will not be prosecuted, but did not elaborate.

When asked about the factors influencing the decision, Pelosi said that “There is much that has been said today, both publicly and privately,” but refused to give further comment, saying that the “discussions behind closed doors must remain behind closed doors.”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi calls for Obama's resignation at a press conference today (CSPA Reporter/Tori Robertson)

The party leaders have met to discuss recent developments, Pelosi said, and decided that “we cannot lose the momentum that we have gained over the past few elections,” and made the decision in the interest of maintaining the Democratic Party’s presence in Congress in hopes of furthering their agenda.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a knee injury on the court, President Barack Obama stepped down from the Capitol Hill basketball team, White House Press Secretary Todd Harmonson said.

According to Secretary Harmonson, LeBron James injured the president while they were playing a pick-up game. The president will undergo minor knee surgery after the swelling has gone down.

Harmonson did not have kind words for James, and called his actions “reckless.”

In an earlier press conference, James announced that he would be leaving his sponsor Nike to create a new line of shoes with teammates Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh because of an incident he had with “a certain V.I.P. player on Capitol Hill.”

As to whether the president was wearing Nikes during his game, Harmonson said, “he could have been wearing Chucks and it wouldn’t have mattered.”

An Apple, Inc. spokesperson discussed problems that have been raised about the iPhone in a press conference today.

Helen Maste of Apple spoke about complaints the company has received about users receiving information that they did not personally request. Among the over 7,000 complaints was a user who claimed to have received dozens of pictures of cats.

Maste said that the problem will soon be fixed, and that Apple that the next iPhone will mark a return to their record of “great price and quality.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Kenyan Immigrant Administration’s claim that they have proved that Barack Obama is a Kenyan immigrant is unfounded, said Whitehouse Press Secretary Todd Harmonson.

In a press conference earlier today, Lamichael Anderson, spokes

person of the Kenyan Immigrant Administration, said that his organization had a sworn statement from a Kenyan doctor claiming to have delivered Barack Obama in 1961. His organization has not provided any verification of the claim, but Anderson said that he believes in the organization.

The accusation has gained support from prominent leaders in the Republican Party, including House Minority John Boehner, who said that he found allegations that Obama was not born in Hawaii as he has claimed and will be looking into his background, possible false documents and birth certificates, but has yet to speak with the doctor personally. He vowed that he and his colleagues in the House of Representatives would impeach President Obama if the rumors are verified.

House Minority Leader John Boehner speaks at a press conference today (CSPA Reporter/Jessie Geoffray)

Press Secretary Todd Harmonson vehemently denied the allegations, calling it “cheap politics, and it’s very sad that they’re reaching to these cheap tactics.” He denounced the members of the opposing party that were aiding in the spread of the rumors, adding that the newest allegations are likely because the “Birther” movement has recently lost major support, including several vocal members changing their views.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Kenyan Immigrant Organization claims to have irrefutable proof that President Barack Obama is a Kenyan immigrant in the form of a sworn statement from a doctor claiming to have delivered him, says spokesperson Lamichael Anderson.