“Whats your favorite American slang?”

“‘That’s what she said.’”

– Conversation between Nicole Vargas, instructor, and Korean native Yeon Woo Lee.

Today is the last day on these Macs and the next to last day EVER.

I’ve avoided thinking about it thus far because I really hate goodbyes. The practice is inherently wrong. Everyone should live near everyone everyone knows. That should be a law.

And I’ve got to say that a camp that lasts for two weeks is nothing but cruel and unusual. I feel like I’ve finally gotten to talk to/know/laugh with every single person (almost?) and then you ship us home.

I think a few of us were talking about graduation with Kim Minugh earlier in the workshop. She told us that she cried when she graduated from CSPA. I told her I was worried about making a scene. Then, I was half-kidding.

Now.. uh, hm.

All I’m saying is that I’m going to miss all of you guys. A lot. A lotlotlotlotlotlot.

We are not sleeping tonight. I’m hearing all of your first-kiss stories (as well as some other scandalous stories?) Oh and by the way, mine is to be kept on the downlow. STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL thanks very much.

POW WOW AT MY PLACE.
(bring food.)

“I have a passion for journalism, you know, but I have a passion for money, too!”

- Josephine Liu

My cousin is a Cornell graduate headed to medical school. Someone once told him, “Unless you’re passionate about medicine, don’t do it. It’s not worth the pay if you don’t like it.”

And that was for a job that pays family practice physicians $204,000 a year on average.

MEANWHILE, in the world of print, “average journalist salaries for job postings nationwide are 19% lower than average salaries for all job postings nationwide,” according to this place.

The other day during lunch, Josephine, Richard, Rachelle and I were discussing money and journalism.

One thought: how much do you have to love something to forgo .. security?

President Barack Obama announced his resignation today and appointed Joe Biden as his successor, who chose Sarah Palin as the new vice president.

“This has been the longest day of my Presidency,” said Obama. “In the light of all the things that have happened, it’s in the best interest of the country for me to step down.”

Obama and Biden clasp hands at today’s press conference. (Josephine Liu/CSPA Reporter)

According to Biden, “it’s time to have a soccer mom in the White House.” Biden believes that Palin is a qualified replacement due to her intelligence and experience as an executive running Alaska.

President Biden stands with new Vice President Palin. (Josephine Liu/CSPA Reporter)

Palin announced her first plan of action as redecorating the White House.

“I’m just real excited and happy to be here, and we’re going to bring Todd to the White House and all the kids,” said Palin.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton also stepped down today after calls from the White House for Clinton’s resignation, said White House Press Secretary Todd Harmonson.

The call for Clinton’s resignation came after Biden announced the White House deliberately leaked a rumor that infidelity existed between Obama and former First Lady Michelle Obama in order to test the loyalty of certain members of Capitol Hill.

“We cannot trust a number of people on Capitol Hill,” he said.

Biden said that the White House could not trust Clinton or Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, both of whom called for Obama’s resignation earlier today. Biden also called for Pelosi’s resignation as Speaker regardless of November election results. No response from Pelosi has been announced.

According to Biden, both resignations are the best option for the American people to ensure that national leadership stays strong.

Harmonson announced the FBI would launch a full investigation into the legality of actions taken on Capitol Hill and amongst military groups regarding today’s many rumors. According to Harmonson, arrests and indictments are expected from the investigation.

Today’s chaos began after Lamichael Anderson of the Kenyan Emigrant Organization released a statement claiming Obama was born in Kenya.

“We have a signed statement from a doctor that says he delivered Obama on August 4, 1961 in Kenya,” said Anderson.

Harmonson denied these rumors.

“Once again, the crazies are on the loose,” said Harmonson earlier tonight. “It’s cheap politics.”

U.S. General Jon Randall also claimed that the U.S. was in contact with Osama Bin Laden, who reportedly would turn himself in if Obama resigned. The White House refused to comment on the validity of this statement and no word regarding Bin Laden has been heard since Obama stepped down.

TWEET: Biden is new President, Palin his VP, effective immediately (link)

TWEET: White House receives Clinton’s resignation (link)

TWEET: Clinton falls short on loyalty “test,” White House asks her to resign (link)

TWEET: VP Biden said rumors of the Obamas’ infidelity were deliberate to test loyalty (link)

TWEET: Clinton calls for Obama’s resignation (link)

Osama Bin Laden will turn himself in if Obama resigns immediately, said U.S. General Jon Randall.

Randall said the U.S. is in contact with Bin Laden, who Randall said would receive life in prison if he gave himself up willingly.

“It shows a little bit of honesty,” said Randall. “Here in America I think honesty is a value we should preach.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called for Obama’s resignation in a press conference today.

“He needs to resign for us to fully capture Osama Bin Laden,” she said.

Clinton speaks at a press conference today. (Josephine Liu/CSPA Reporter)

Clinton said there are personal issues threatening the presidency but refused to comment on what those issues specifically were.

Watch the press conference here.

Tweet: General Jon Randall said Bin Laden will turn himself in if Obama resigns (link)