I’ve always been pegged as the quiet girl. I never raise my hand in school, I never speak in big groups, I never ask questions in class. I’ve just never been comfortable with it. I don’t like being the center of attention, I don’t like everyone looking at me.
And i hate it. I feel like its totally not my personality, but for some reason I can’t help it. I’m just quiet.
But for some reason, here, I’m not. Ok I’m not the loudest, or most talkative, or most outgoing person in the group by a long shot, but for the first time, i feel completely comfortable. And I have no idea why. But on the first day I struck up conversations with people I’d never met before, and I was friends with my roommate within instants, and I was talking to the people next to me without worrying that I was annoying them, and I’m raising my hand in classes. And yeah, maybe it’s only once every other day, but thats SUCH an improvement for me.
This past year at school, I was sort of thrown into a totally new group of friends, and it honestly took me almost the entire year to feel like I was friends with all of them and knew all of them. And then I get here, and I’m friends with and have had significant conversations with almost every single person before three days are up. And I don’t think, that for the first time, people are thinking of me as ‘the quiet girl.’
And it totally dawned on me how much I like being here yesterday when I was sick, because instead of thinking, “This sucks, I wish I was home in my bed,” I was thinking, “This sucks, I wish I was in class.”
So I’m not sure what it is. Maybe its something in the air, but the fact that I’m posting this whole long thing without worrying what people are gonna think is so big for me. And I know the theme for this blog is pretty non-existent but I was kind of trying to make it some ways that we’re all different, and some ways that we’re all the same. So this blog entry fits perfectly, because it’s about me, and how different and happy about it I feel.
So thanks CSPA I guess, hahaha